Faith in Jesus is the all-healing power

By Jim Honeycutt

Chaplain-Baptist Minister

I am not sure how I did it. Maybe it was the abuse I doled out on my body over the years catching up with me. Maybe I just slept wrong. But whatever the culprit was, it made itself known soon as I tried lifting my head from my pillow.

The manifestation of pain in my neck, shot through my body when I moved my head, causing me to stiffen every muscle. Reluctant to move, I got up slowly, trying to navigate the crick in my neck. I was not happy… had things to do today; no time for this inconvenient pain.

I headed down the stairs without completing any of my morning ritual. I was finding with each step down, my emotions following closely, a darkness creeping into my attitude. By the time I reached the back door to let the dogs out, I was almost full-blown pity party mode.

For me, this is the most difficult struggle of my Christian walk, feeling physically bad while dealing with emotions that are under assault. For a while, I just sat, trying to self-comfort with a heating pad. But the words bouncing around in my head were not comforting. It was like a little inflamed nerve had somehow commandeered my whole being. And the voice of unreason was getting louder as it pointed out all my frailties.

For a time, I allowed this unhinged parade to march along, when out my window I began to hear the voices of children at play. Several of the grade schools are close enough to my house that on sunny days the echoes of laughter and play reverberate across my yard. Stopping the argument with myself for a moment, I listened, their laughter draws me. I think to myself, why am I suffering in the shadows, when the sun shines bright, and I know it always makes me feel better.

Following the allure of joy coming from outside I make myself go. I feel as though a huge anaconda is wrapped around my soul, tightening as I attempt to push forward. The shadow behind me the sun before me, I am not going back, the door opens. The dogs rush around me, welcoming my presence. They make room as they see me heading to a patio chair, jumping, talking in playful growls, doing everything they can think of to get my attention.

But my neck has my attention, my attitude has my attention, and I selfishly ignore them. Undaunted, Mac, my Vizsla, pushes himself into my chair determined not to move until I throw his toy at least once. Which I do!

While the birds sing, the children laugh in the distance and my dogs run around in playful game.

While I sit longing for song, laughter and game. 

Looking to the sky, I see a hawk circling, it seems so peaceful up there. How I long to be that free at this moment. Closing my eyes, I remember a song my mother sang often, and it begins to flow from my lips. And as it moves along, I find my focus is shifting. The words heard because of my voice, the message heard is directly from my heart. With my hands before me, I repeat the words of trust my mother sang so long ago.

“Take my cup, Lord. I lift it up, Lord. Come and quench this thirsting in my soul. Bread of Heaven, fill me till I want no more. Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.”

I don’t know how long I sat there. Time seemed to stop. But as I sat singing to God, I could feel the tightening around my soul releasing. I could sense a refreshing coming upon me. To best describe this moment to you, it was like I had been caked in mud, unable to move and someone took warm water, showering it down upon me. The coils of the snake released at his command. And I breathed in…

I am thankful for days like this, days of testing and victory. I am not so keen on the testing, yet I know the promise is that after the testing comes refreshing. And for me the refreshing is so incredibly joyous, that it pales the trial I went through to get there.

All around me are reminders of the life I have been called to experience. The aches and pains of getting older shouldn’t be allowed to stop our pursuit of His face. I have learned that one of the primary ways the enemy attacks is through exploiting my human frailties.

I don’t have the complete answers to it all, not even close, yet I have this… a faith in the One who loves and cares for me. One who fills me, cleanses me, calms me, refreshes me. His name is Jesus.