Celebrate Valentine’s Day Your Way

By George Barrera               

     Valentine’s Day is often painted as a joyful and romantic day full of love and smiles.  But for some people, Valentine’s Day brings pressure, stress, and loneliness.  It is important to understand that feeling this way doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you.  This feeling is probably more widespread than you would think and that those advertising their Valentine’s Day specials may want you to know.  

     For some, February 14 can bring financial stress.  Gift giving expectations can feel overwhelming sometimes and obligation can start to replace our true intention.  This can leave us with a feeling of having to buy something or a lot of things to show our affection instead of being good with showing our affection even if the gesture is small.  Especially in today’s economy, financial stress is common but not very openly talked about a lot times.  Being more open, honest, and understanding with each other can help alleviate much of this stress.  Always remember that for most, love isn’t measured in price tags and true meaningful gestures of affection don’t have to cost any money.  

     Sometimes those without someone to share Valentine’s Day with look to those in a relationship with envy, not realizing that not all relationships are secure or fulfilling.  For those who may not be in the happiest of relationships, Valentine’s Day can make tensions grow even bigger while also leading people to feel pressured into having to “pretend” everything is perfect and their relationship is full of love.  

     Please take note if you are in a relationship like this you are not alone.  Relationships can be difficult, have their ups and downs, and take mutual work to be successful.  Communication is important and small honest conversations with each other, especially in times of difficulty, can matter more than buying expensive gifts.   

And for those of us who do not have a significant other or partner in our lives, Valentine’s Day can sometimes amplify those feelings of being single.  Then we check our social media feeds just to see reinforcement of how important it is to be with a significant other and buy them that special something for Valentine’s Day, leaving some wondering why did we get missed by cupid’s arrow?  First and foremost, understand that loneliness is part of the human experience, it is not a personal flaw.  It is important for us to acknowledge that feeling of loneliness instead of pushing it away, to learn about who we are and experience what we feel.  

     If social media is annoying you on Valentine’s Day, limit your access that day, I promise it will still be there the day after already having forgotten all about it and moving on to the next thing.  

     Also, be sure to focus on what meaningful connections you do have, whether it is an old friend you have not talked with in years but have been wanting to reconnect with (it is never been too long to reach out to someone who means something to you), or you only friend who you look forward to connecting with because they understand you, or your family who is always able to put a smile on your face.  

We take in messages on a daily basis telling us what we should want and how Valentine’s Day should be.  A lot of times we let these expectations cloud what we really like and who we really are.  Valentine’s Day can be complicated and having mixed feelings about it is totally valid.  This is why it is important to self-reflect, to ask yourself what actually feels authentically meaningful and let go of doing Valentine’s Day the “right way” and start doing it your way.