Called by Him to do different jobs
Gently she wakes me, telling me it is time for lab work. It seems I just shut my eyes. Looking at the clock on the wall, reluctantly I sit up for her to draw more blood. I ask, ‘Didn’t you just drain a quart a bit ago?’ With a smile she says it wasn’t quite a quart and she needs a top off. We both laugh.
Sincerely though I am growing weary of all the pokes and prods. A healing would make all this go away, but then I would not be able to experience the fullness of my Savior’s plan for me. God has been so merciful to me, not just in this setting but throughout my life. But this is where I am now and now is when I feel Him close. Jesus isn’t just the God I pray to, He is my closest friend. Saving me from the prospects of hopelessness, He came to me when I was a young child.
At the time I didn’t realize the full impact of that decision and how it would shape my life. In this moment as I wait for the path forward, I contemplate His hand upon me. The gratitude in my heart swells till it overflows through my eyes. I wipe away the joy as the nurse asks “Are you ok? Are you in pain?”
In my heart I know, no pain can bring these tears, for these are the tears of hope. I turn and look directly at her saying ‘no pain just gratitude.’ A slightly puzzled look comes across her face, but I’m sure she has heard many differing answers to that question. As she leaves the room, I thank her for the service she provides, praying silently that God would bless her as she walks her calling. I close my eyes for just a second and it’s morning. A dear friend reaches out to me via text, reminding me of his love and prayers. I thank him for his brotherly concern, whispering a prayer of thanksgiving for friends God has placed in my life.
Soon, two more brothers reach out and I find myself renewed in strength. The pain is bearable for I know soon I will be free from all of these complications. Though this pain is the vehicle God has used to bring me here. So much love I feel from my family and forever friends. Many of them going out of their way to encourage me. I gather my strength and get up out of the bed, determined to get moving. Walking through the pain is not easy and I struggle. Yet I know I must move forward lest I get stuck here. I have progressed rapidly from surgery, and the nurses amaze me. I tell them I know the Great Physician personally. Some understand, many just smile.
Traveling the halls holding tight to my walker, I do my best to appear in control, yet it is God’s hand upon me that keeps me steady. I discern that he is not just keeping me company, He is allowing me to see what He sees. And what I see is heavy on my heart.
Sometimes I take for granted not only my health but the loyalty of my loved ones. Seeing others languishing in their beds for various reasons takes its toll upon my psyche. But He is not finished showing me, so I begin to talk to Him. And as we walk together, He leads me to pray specific prayers. I know He doesn’t need me to ask Him to meet their longings. He hears their hearts and knows their need. Yet I also know He wants me involved in His work. So, as I am commanded to do by scripture, I share His message in my goings. And my goings right now are here in this hospital.
I ask the nurse if my room smells. She hesitates for a moment before asking, “What do you mean?” Well, when I walk these halls it’s like my spirit can smell different things as I pass each room. Sometimes it hard to discern if it’s the actual smells of disease or an awareness of hopelessness. “It’s both,” she tells me. I ask, ‘Then how do you do it, how do you face this every day?’
“I love my job,” she tells me. In her voice I hear grace, mercy and care. I do not doubt for a second, she has been called to this life of service. She continues her rounds, and before she can return to finish our conversation, I receive a text that a church member’s nephew has been in an accident and is being rushed to the hospital where I am a patient. In my spirit I hear my Master’s voice say “Let’s talk!” This is my calling, to speak with Him of others need and what my instructions may be. For now, it’s focused on what I don’t know, which is really unimportant for He is in control. So, I pray searching for His will.
I love my job.